very good for students of English
In the classroom
A teacher said, "Mary, I'd like you to give me a sentence beginning
with 'I', please."
Mary thought for a few seconds and then said, "I is..."
The teacher interupted her and said, "No Mary, you cannot begin a
sentence with 'I is' - you must use 'I am'."
Mary looked upset and said, "But Miss..."
The teacher shouted, "Give me a sentence beginning with 'I am', please."
Mary shrugged her shoulders and said, "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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River
A man was walking along a river bank (the land at the side of a river
is called a bank) when he saw a man walking along the opposite bank.
He called across, "Hey, how do I get to the other side of the river?"
The other man looked confused and shouted back, "You're on the other
side of the river already."
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Fortune teller
Many hundreds of years ago a king went to see a fortune teller to
see what she could predict about the future.
The fortune teller told the king that one of his wives would die that year.
The king didn't believe her and went away laughing.
Later that year one of the king's wives died.
He remembered what the fortune teller had told him and thought that
she had caused the death of his wife, that she had made it happen.
He decided to put her to death.
He ordered that she be brought before him.
When she was before him he said to her, "A few months ago you
predicted that one of my wives would die this year, and one of them
has died. So you are a fortune teller. Now, tell me - when will you die?"
The fortune teller realised that the king was planning to kill her,
so she thought very carefully before answering, "I will die three days
before you do, your majesty."